Last day in Year 10 and last exam

Today was quite eventful since it was my last day at school. Tomorrow I'm leaving to Montenegro (well actually to Serbia and then to Montenegro)!!!

We didn't do much at school today. During French we all went outside and imitated teachers in front of M Schneider. And we, obviously, debated the existence of god with Oliver. I didn't really get a chance to say a proper goodbye to anyone except those who do art.

After Art, Rosa and I took a tram to this language school where we had to do the DELF B1 exam. Our exams, coincidently, started at the same time. The exam went a lot better than I thought it would. Unlike Rosa's "examinatrices", mine weren't friendly and would not help me out if I forgot something or didn't quite know what to say. I walked in the examination room confident and presented myself, but I didn't do as well on the role play because I had no idea what to say. 

After the exam, Rosa and I waited for Oliver who did it right after us. All together we went to the lake, took a boat to the other side and had expensive ice cream. We made our way to the botanical gardens and tried to figure out how we suddenly became close friends. Rosa and I also ran through the fountains and got ourselves wet. 

On my way home I started thinking whether I have changed during this school year or if I have matured and came to the conclusion that I'm still the exact same person I was at the start of the year. Except now I don't have any feelings. And I can proudly say that I'm a communist. I realised that you can tell a lot about a person from their handwriting. For example, I would always look back on the notes I made at the start of the year and be like "wow, my handwriting used to be so different". And it is true because in the years before I changed so much during the school year. Nowadays, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between my handwriting at the start of the year and the end of the year because I haven't changed as much. I hope I won't change in Year 11 either. Only to become a stronger and an even more feelingless person.

In conclusion, it could be argued that blah blah pour rien dire, this year didn't go by as fast as my previous years of school. It went at a reasonable, steady speed. I wonder if I regret missing any opportunities. I guess I don't. There were a few moments that I think could've changed a small part of my life, but I'm glad I acted the way I did. 

Good night, minna!

Déjà vu

I went to Dasha's party this Saturday and wrote about it, but everything froze and got deleted. #21stcenturyproblems

You know those moments when it's dark and you're sleepy, but you have to sit through a car journey to get home and all these memories come to your mind because you have experienced that moment too many times so it's a sort of "déjà vu" every time you live through it again. No? Just me? Alright. (Here I am, talking to myself again.) 

As I stood outside in the pitch-dark silence of the alley way perpendicular to Dasha's house, I started humming 1925. My voice seemed unusually loud, just like my own heartbeat that was as if destroying and bothering the overwhelming silence. A lonely heart is what I'm slowly aming for. It's good that I don't fall in love, I thought.

On my way home I took off my glasses and glared at the unfocused blurry world with my tired eyes. I thought that if I didn't know my town as well as I know the five fingers of my hand, I could have possibly got lost on that simple route. Street lights, arranged neatly in parallel lines, one after the other, along the road, looked like glowing snow globes or floating spheres. As I would try to focus my eyes on one "snow globe" or the other, it would start shaking, getting bigger or smaller. 

Now this is the time when deep-thinking-mode comes on.

I suddenly remembered an incident that has been buried in my memory for at least seven or eight years. It was a night like any other Saturday night when my family and I drove to the dacha all together. Since my mum and my dad had two separate cars I had the choice of who to travel with. I remember I would prefer to travel with my dad because I always looked up to him and he was always some sort of supreme hero to me. On that night I, as usual, sat at the back of my dad's car. I still can't figure out why on that particular day we travelled to the dacha when it was dark or why I do not remember my mum being there, stuck in traffic, in the car next to us. All I can remember is that time was moving slowly, as slowly as the cars around us, and that I felt very lonely. I think it was during the time my parents were getting divorced and even though we still lived together as a family I knew something was very wrong. (I guess you are expecting me to say something like "I was too young to understand what was going on", but from what I can remember I understood the cause of their break up quite clearly.) As I was half awake, I heard the car window open. A stranger, who was, by the sound of it, a young woman, was asking my dad for directions and he, naturally, told her which route to take next. He also gave her his business/visit card. At the back of the car, I sat there, trying to hold back my tears as I wished for that woman to leave and disappear. I wished I could get outside, close the window of the woman's car and make her go away. I hated her with all my soul.

What was that rush of jealousy and hatred? Was it because I thought that my dad loved that stranger more that my mum? Was it a way to protect myself? If so, how?

Was I always like this? Hating quietly on strangers I don't even know? Why do I hate?

In careers class

I finally got my English visa and I'm going to England!!!! Yayyyyy!!!!!

And I'm also leaving to Montenegro next Thursday. I guess I'm happy that I will get to leave before school is over because I'm really tired and people at school piss me off. Especially some people. Some people.

I have to find some sort of job advert for careers class. No idea what that is or where to find it. 

I'm in the mood to draw "history cartoons" that are "dripping with irony".

I should probably write something but meh

9340 views today. I guess I should be happy about this.

We went to this place called chimiscope with the chemistry class today. It was somewhat entertaining.

I couldn't be bothered to think about anything today because I was sleepy and tired from the hike. I just thought about certain individuals that I hate and gave myself a headache.

I sound like such a pessimistic person in these posts. 

Practice expedition

Just came back from the Duke of Edinburgh practice expedition. Let's just say it was eventful. I remember Yasmin and I used that word to describe last year's trip.

My group and I almost got attacked by curious cows. (How more Swiss can you get?) We were walking on a road that was surrounded by a herd of cows and they started following us, ringing their bells that we have later defined as "hells bells" or the "warning bells". Some cows were even running after us (or at least it seemed like they were). Luckily, we quickly crossed over an electrical fence while ther cows stood there staring and mooing. I guess I exaggurated a little bit, but I will never see cows and "friendly harmless creatures" again. 

We also encountered an angry black dog on our way that was barking at us for no clear reason. 

Today during lunch we were having what one can call a deep conversation. I didn't agree with most of what was said, but I couldn't be bothered to argue with anyone. The only thing I concluded from the conversation was that I hate capitalism and division in society. And I can't stand rich families or the idea of inheritance. Charlie also mentioned "Brave New World", a book that I will never read because I hate all that dystopian crap or any sort of fiction. I prefer dry facts with no personal opinion of the author because opinions annoy me. I don't like the way I sound in this post.

Back to the subject. 

I think I twisted my ankle as we were trying to avoid cows. I hope no one in my group noticed that I was slightly limping because I don't want to appear weak. I heard my ankle crack as I stepped on a rock and it really hurts whenever I put my weight on it. Like the word cares about this... -_- 

After all, I guess hiking with my nakama was quite fun and I'm glad I took my camera so here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure:

Deadly Swiss creatures

I wish I was born in 1889

Going on a hike with my nakama tomorrow. Will be back on Sunday.

I wanted to write this whole thing about controversial opinions and such yesterday, but I didn't get to it. I also wrote something that one would call "creative writing" about how people would live in a perfect society that, according to my mum, sounds like I wrote it about robots and not people. I don't think the previous sentence made sense. 

Oh well.

I think I'll write the whole thing about controversial opinions and publish my "story" some other day. 

While reading a very interesting book about the gulags, I also started reading another Russian book. I can't stop thinking about Prokudin-Gorsky and his photographs of the Russian Empire so I found a book with a story from that time period. The only thought that was in my mind today (excluding the random bullshit I think about on a daily basis) was the fact that I wish that I was born in the 19th century and spent most of my life in the 20th century. There was so many discoveries and new ideas that I wish I could be part of. Like communism. You can't have a communist revolution now, can you?

"It's 'ot in Switzerland. You'd KNOW that if you'd been LISTENING!" - famous quote that has never been said

Went to town and took some pretty average pics today. It was 31 degrees outside today and I can't stand the heat.

And a bad lift mirror selfie to conclude. As always.

Southern accent: Creepy ass drawings

Insert quote about having no time due to exam revision here. Just kidding. I'm not really revising. This is what I've been up to lately.

All these pics are on my insta (@sonyash26) so you know *winks* you could *winks* follow me or something.

And there's also this thing I drew in art. It's me!!!

I went on a hike with my nakama last week. Rosa, David, Oliver and I were always ahead of everyone else. David was telling us all of these weird stories that he came up with and Oliver was debating god as he usually does. I can't wait until the actual overnight hike with Rosa, Charlie and Matthew. I've never been camping before so I'm looking forward to it. 

When I was in the mountains I made two bracelets that I'm going to send to Eleanor from TokyoFashion. I'm thinking of making more for my friends, but I doubt that they will ever wear them.

Good night! Oyasumi!