Raspberries at the library

But first, a couple of words about physics revision *clears throat*

I tried so hard 

And got so far 

But in the end 

It doesn't even matter

Literally, the exams I'm studying for right now are not that important (even if everyone says they are) so all the revision I'm doing now will not matter in the end.
Anyway...
I want to write another book. I've been working on the book I finished really hard so now there's like an empty space in my heart *wipes tear*. I really want to write, but I don't really have a plot or anything to describe. I guess I could write fanfiction, but let's not go there........
I brought raspberries to the library today which made physics slightly better.
I decided to walk through the market on my way to the library and this really pretty woman came up to me to do some sort of survey. She asked me for my age and I guess I was too young to participate in the survey. But, yeah, she had really pretty black hair. Not beautiful, but kind of average nice black hair which I found somewhat attractive.
On my way home from badminton, a very young boy (perhaps, seven or eight) was sitting next to me. I heard his mum call him Sebastian. So, anyway, he was playing with a Bratz doll who had purple streaks in her hair. The boy sat the doll next to him and caressed her hair which seemed to have amazed him.
Why am I even writing these things down? Oh well, I'm off to bed. 

Too much physics to handle

Something is seriously wrong with my sleeping schedule. I walk around like some kind of zombie during the day and fall asleep at any occasion given. I googled ways to stake awake and apparently long walks and music are supposed to help. So I walked to the library instead of taking the tram and listened to what one would call "emo shit". 

On the way back though, there was some kind of accident with public transport so all buses and trams stopped working. When everyone gets out on the streets, you really do realise how densely populated the city I live in is. I'd love for it to always be like this because usually it resembles an empty ghost town from a zombie apocalypse movie.

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I might write another book sometime soon though. In English this time. And fictional. There are so many things I want to do though, but EXAMS. I'd love to draw more as well. My absolute dream right now is to go to a coffee room when it's raining, listen to my "emo shit" and draw smutty fan art. Yeah, don't ask. 

Such end of year. Very conclusion. Wow.

So I spent about 12 hours crying yesterday because of my book. Like actual crying. Actual screaming and shouting kind of crying. I think the last time I cried like that was two years ago if not more. I never thought anyone would understand it the way I meant for it to be understood, but no. Dasha got all the little hints and things I put between the lines.
But yeah end of Year 11, huh? The last day of school was great except I felt that some people noticed me more than I wanted them to. I mean like what's the point of straight up ignoring me for the entirety of the year and only speaking to me on the last day to leave a good impression of themselves? Did these sentences even make sense? Okay, forget it.
I was very emotional when I said bye to Lily :( I love her so much!!! <3
After school my friends and I went to a cafe and talked about everything! And it was a lot of fun because I don't really have anything to lose.
Yesterday I went to town with Nina and it was raining like crazy. We talked about fanfics and ships heheh
I don't even know what to write to conclude this whole Year 11 experience. I guess I should say thanks to all my friends, but I already wrote a whole book about it. I might edit this post later though.

I hate everything about you, why do I love you?

My book is ready!!!!!! *celebration dance* I honestly can't explain how happy I am right now! This is like the first piece of writing I've ever finished! And it's 78 pages long!
Tomorrow will be the last day of school. Oh. My. Gahd. I can't believe I will have my last class in English ever. How different will things be next year?
The last week of school has been great. I got an award for being a commie who is most likely to take over the world in history class which is pretty accurate. History was by far the most enjoyable class over these past two years. I'm scared I will loose my passion for it next year though. Learning history in French doesn't sound as exciting, but who am I to judge.
I want to do something memorable tomorrow to be remembered forever. Okay, that sounded dramatic, but you know what I mean. I guess I could punch someone, but that wouldn't do any good, would it?
I think I'll save all my deep thoughts for tomorrow's post to make a proper conclusion to the year. 

I wrote a book!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in ages (I've probably said that too many times). School's been really chill lately. It's probably because the school year will be over in just under a few days. It's exciting to realise that this our last week of school. Sometimes I even want to walk up to the people I strongly despise and tell them everything I think about them, but I don't think I'll ever do it. Not because I don't have the guts to because I would literally punch someone in the face if I wanted to. I guess it's because of the idea that we might meet in a few years' time and I don't want to live a life, creating enemies on my way.
Overall, I want to say that this year has gone by with no regrets. I mean, I even managed to confess my love to someone without creating drama, so what could you possibly regret about that? And.... I wrote a book. A 19000 word book, describing the first year I spent in this school. Yep... I tried to make it as honest as possible, writing down the feelings I've had about certain events and for certain people. What am I doing with my life?
But, yeah, school's chill. I went to Dasha's place for a sleepover during the weekend with another friend whose name is also, coincidentally, Dasha. It was awesome!!! I love them both <3
Sometimes I wish someone told me that I live in the golden age and what I mean by that is I keep romanticising the past, telling myself that it's better than the present. And the reality is that I might already be living in this "perfection" which I always seem to find in the past.
Also, call me desperate, but I keep on wishing to have a friend who I'd be really close with. Like a soulmate in a way. Yeah I sound like a loner haha xD 

Complimenting strangers

So umm... I don't know how to start since I haven't posted in ages. Let's start with the fact that my friends threw a f*cking surprise birthday party for me!!! Like what???!!!! It's been a week now, but I'm still not over it. I'm not gonna go into the details of how everything happened because I've told literally everyone I know and there's no point really. I honestly didn't expect it and I'm just so happy to have people like this in my life <3 I had so much fun! Also, Dasha gave me a notebook with so many nice things written in it and I cried reading what all of these notes say. She's the best person in the world! I decided to use that notebook as a diary (no surprise there) and illustrate some of the things that happen to me every day.
The art exam went surprisingly well and it was all really chill!
The last couple of days at school before the holidays were amazing, but I don't think I should really reveal all the information about certain *cough* secret clubs and *cough* yeah who said that?
Also I think I should write about it here so I don't forget. Yesterday, being the amazing student that I am, I went to the library to study for my chemistry exam and I saw this absolutely beautiful girl on the tram, who was sitting in front of me. She was so pretty I literally could not take my eyes off her like she was that stunning! I sat there, staring at her the whole way through. I really wanted to tell her how beautiful she was, but then I just thought that it would be weird, considering how awkward I am, to tell her that, so I just... got off the tram. Yeah... Is it normal to compliment strangers? I mean should I have said anything to her without creeping her out?
Yeah I should be revising