Meh.....

School started sooner than I expected it to. It was the first time I didn't go to Moscow for New Year. New Year, itself, was probably the most boring one for me. None of my relatives were there and I was in my room, writing in my "diary" about how sad I am to be without them. The day after the catholic christmas I went to Yasmin's house. We stayed up for more than 24 hours and felt very bad afterwards.
That sums up my vacation.......

The first week of school was the best week of school I ever had. I didn't have any homework and Yaz and I had the best time ever.
Yesterday we went to the cinema and watched "Life of Pi", but that deserves a separate blog post.

More snow

The snow melted by the end of the day and the next morning was completely dry.
Friday. The long bus ride. Listening to music. There's no snow left. It seems like it's fall again.
It starts snowing by the time I get to school. The snow isn't wet. It doesn't melt by the time it gets to the ground. It just lies there. It doesn't stop snowing. Slowly, everything around us turns white. I get out of my art class. wishing it never snowed. Wishing for it to be summer again.
They call this "extreme weather". The after school buses are cancelled. So is Simply Theatre. I go to Yasmin's house. We watch Silent Hill till midnight and go to sleep late.
We have to go back to school at 10 to practise for Ammy. Tired, we get up. Our voices are tired too. We can't control them and sound horrible. Being good singers we're embarrassed and loose all our confidence.
I go home on Saturday at 4 o'clock and fall asleep immediately. Having 18 hours of sleep (like a cat! nyan! ^_^) I get up and do my homework...
PS We got our class photos.... Our class is full of ugly people... Zoum! XD Aaaand I'm on honours! When Mr Gilbert  gave the certificates out to us, he said "And the troublesome twins..." (meaning me and Yaz). And we said "We're not troublesome! We're evil!" ZOUM!

It snowed..... =(

The title of this post says it all. It snowed... Unfortunately... Now summer is even further away than it already was.
I wake up, excited to go to school. Yasmin, my dear Yasmin, is coming back today. The closer my bus gets to the school, the faster my heart is beating.
I look out of the window. Everything is gray. I think if I've gone colourblind, but no. It's all gray. The grass that used to be bright green is gray and even the sky that was bright blue before is also gray. I listen to Yiruma, but I no longer pay attention to the music. The only thing that I want to hear is the rushing wind. The grayness around me makes me think colourless thoughts. I no longer want to think about happiness, nor the beauty beyond this world. I feel like I'm in the parallel reality of Silent Hill since everything is covered is fog.
The door of the bus opens and as I come out I see Yasmin running towards me. How much have I missed her. We hug, not realising that we're finally together after such a long time. We scream. People look at us. We scream more.
Not remembering to put my jacket on I run outside. A few days ago it was still warm and during the whole day my jacket would hang on the hook and I would even forget to bring it home. Today everything has changed. We have gone from fall to winter. Real winter. There's snow. Wet snowy sleet. It's slippery and wet. It snows, turns everything white and rains after. The dry dirt turns into mud. The white snowflakes turn into wet pieces of mud. I get to my bus. Tired of it all. Wanting summer to always be with me.

Music

Whenever I listen to music I can feel it with every fibre of my body. It makes me think of my life. My past and my future, transforming into the story of my present. The effort the composer put in to it... The effort their soul put in to it... The way they reflected their feelings, wrote it, felt it... Music makes me shiver... I can feel it...
I think about my past. Not even the past of my own life. The past of the life I had before I was born. My soul's previous life. The world it has lived in before. The land of beautiful nature and peace. The life every human dreams of. The land of endless restleness.

 

Shopping and Twilight

Yesterday, Franny, Carolina, Emma, Paulina, Ximena and me went to the cinema to watch Twilight.
I ran out of my house to get to the tram, but as soon as I got to the tram stop it left. The next tram was only coming in 6 minutes. At first I decided to wait, but I ended up running to the train station. Franny and Carolina said that they were at Starbucks. Since they weren't there I went inside the train station. Franny called me and we, finally, met up.
The rest of our friends were already at Balexert, buying tickets. I was all excited about it. (Whenever I go to the cinema at Balexert I just can't stop thinking about that time I went there with Peter, even though it was such a long time ago...) I got nachos and a slushy. Yum yum!!!
The movie was.... I don't know how to describe it properly... I was waiting for something to happen, but nothing really did... At some moments I just didn't understand what was going on because some of it was all so fast and unexpected and not at all linked to the story. The fights weren't at all realistic. The characters didn't act at all. You just couldn't tell if the main character Bella was sad or happy or depressed because she had the same face on all the time. The story was complicated. Sometimes there was too much action that you just couldn't keep track of it. And sometimes there was no action at all and it was boring.
The movie messed up my good mood and by the time we went shopping I just wanted to go home. While Carolina and Franny were at the makeup store, I was on my own outside. I didn't feel like looking at all the lotions and masks and perfume bottles. I started getting bored so I decided to get to the book store. On my way there I stopped and thought carefully about what I was doing. I thought about them looking for me and getting worried because they wouldn't find me. I thought that it wouldn't be at all nice to leave them there. I thought that they actually cared about me and I only cared about myself. I ended up thinking that I was selfish so I went back, finding Franny looking for me.
 After that, all of us went to Clair's. I wondered there for a while and came up with a conclusion that none of it was interesting  to me. So I went outside again. Before I knew what I was doing I found myself walking to the book store. I stopped myself once again. And thought about it all. I decided not to go there.
After about 30 mins Franny walked out of Clair's and started calling me. I could see her, but she couldn't see me. Slowly, I made my way towards her.
Franny and all the rest of us went to Lush. Less than a minute after I sneaked away with Carolina. We ended up at the stationary shop looking at post cards and pens. There was a very cute purple post card with two owls on it. It said "Special friend" on it. I wanted to buy it, but then I thought, who I should give it to, and not finding such person, put it back on the shelf.
Franny found us quickly. After going to the CASA store (where they sell things you can decorate your house with) I, finally had a chance to go to the book shop.
I spent a lot of time looking for Enligh books. When I found them I realised that almost all of them were fiction books. Since I don't really like fiction I decided to go and look at the manga books near by. At least a quarter of them were Hentai (pornography) and the rest were the ones with strange characters (like Naruto). I didn't find anything I knew. I gave up my hope on finding a good book so I went to look at the DVDs. I ended up going outside, stalking Franny and Carolina who were looking for me, thinking why I'm treating them that way.
I went home, very tired. I didn't buy anything while the others bought loads. Weird...

I miss Yasmin...

It's Yasmin's third week off school... I miss her a lot. She's not a popular person, but a lot people miss her. I dream about her coming back to school and text her 24/7.
Her absence made me closer to Carolina. I never talked to her before. She turned out to be very nice and not at all childish as I thought she would be. She acts and does things that any teenage girl would do. I think it's just her appearance that made me think of her character the wrong way.

It was my French teacher's last day yesterday. I think I'm actually gona miss her. She was my first and only NORMAL french teacher so far. Usually the frenchies have a very weird behaviour and way of teaching. They're always too obsessed with their job that it seems like they have no other interest in life. I wonder how our new teacher's going to be.

And Yasmin's still not there... I don't know where she is! Help me!!!

I had Simply Theatre today. It wasn't fun without Yasmin... I need her!!! I don't know why, but when I'm at Simply I just start to act like a misanthrope thinking about how dumb and annoying people are. And I end up in a very very bad mood so I look like I'm just shy or something. But in reality I just have this "oh, screw that!" mood and so I just stand there in the corner because I can't be bothered to listen to anyone (not because I'm shy). We were also singing there. I couldn't do any of the songs because they were all too high for my voice. So when I started singing I sounded like a bumble bee...

I miss Yasmin..... ((((((( Saaad faaace!!!! (((((

Just a day at school

First recess. I take out my phone to check if I missed anything from Yasmin. Nothing. I go to the Grenier and check the phone again. Terrible news. I can’t believe it at first. Staring at the screen. Speechless.

Call me

I put the volume up so I can hear her call.

First minute of German class. My phone rings. I get up and go out of class. It’s Yasmin. I lose all my strength at collapse to the bench. Full of anger. No. Fear. I get up and lean against the wall. Tears running down my face. I can’t stop them. I want to “close up” and hide from the world. My hand covering my mouth.

Kopatytch is staring at me in a weird way, walking from side to side. I sit on the stairs, focusing my eyes on the floor, phone to my cheek. I see shoes. Black ones. He taps me on the shoulder. Points at the door. Feeling-less thing. No phones allowed.

I go outside. Stand a little. Yasmin close to me. Salad Fingers walking in circles around me. Ugly, motionless face. I put my phone down. He looks at me. Emotionless voice talking to me.

Here, in reality, she’s not your Grandma. Go to your class. Test. Phone will be confiscated.

I can’t concentrate on what he’s saying. I can only hear meaningless words.

Back to German class. The longest 10 minutes of my life.

5 minute break. Run to Grenier. Feel blind without my glasses on. Buy a carambar, even though I have 2 francs left. Run back.

Lunch. Not hungry at all. Niko asks me if I’m okay. I don’t know why but sometimes such small things can cheer you up. My tears are dried up. I run to the metal stairs. No need for a jacket. I climb to the very top. Shivering. Staring at the screen of my phone, motionless.

Call mum. She will pick me up in an hour. That’s when homeroom starts.

Go to the bathroom. Stare at the mirror. Is this really me? Pale. As white as paper. Red eyes. I wash my cold hands with hot water. Carolina and Franny walk in. I say I have to go and rush out of there. Alice catches me. Pink face. Suspicious look. I talk to him with no emotions. Monotone voice, cold face.

The bell rings. Everyone rushes. I stand in front of the Mont Blanc. Not moving a muscle. Emma’s there. She gives me a hug and says she’s sorry. I see Franny. Tears running down her cheeks. She asks when did it happen and goes away.

I sit on the train. Blanc. Speechless.