Un-buh-lievable

^ Natalie Tran anyone...?

So you know how we all have this one thing we just can't wrap our minds around. Like some people can't understand the concept of death or birth. I've heard some say that the concept of seeing someone who is dead on a photo really confuses them. And it's not that they can't comprehend death, it's just the thought and the realisation that that person is dead now... (My talents include starting a sentence and not being able to finish it, noice.) Yeah that realisation like woah this is some next level shit right 'ere! Okay I literally can't explain a thing. Let's start again.

So I just can't wrap my head around the fact that when I started school (2005 wowza) there was no one who was born past the year 2000. And now only a small portion (senior year) of students who go there were born before that. Like what. What. No but think about it. When I was 6 in my first year of school I was the youngest one. I enjoyed life, learnt my addition and subtraction, read my fairytales... And meanwhile someone was 16. Someone was going through the things I'm going through now. Mind blown. No but like I can't comprehend this........ 

I wish I was born in 1889

Going on a hike with my nakama tomorrow. Will be back on Sunday.

I wanted to write this whole thing about controversial opinions and such yesterday, but I didn't get to it. I also wrote something that one would call "creative writing" about how people would live in a perfect society that, according to my mum, sounds like I wrote it about robots and not people. I don't think the previous sentence made sense. 

Oh well.

I think I'll write the whole thing about controversial opinions and publish my "story" some other day. 

While reading a very interesting book about the gulags, I also started reading another Russian book. I can't stop thinking about Prokudin-Gorsky and his photographs of the Russian Empire so I found a book with a story from that time period. The only thought that was in my mind today (excluding the random bullshit I think about on a daily basis) was the fact that I wish that I was born in the 19th century and spent most of my life in the 20th century. There was so many discoveries and new ideas that I wish I could be part of. Like communism. You can't have a communist revolution now, can you?

Happy 8th of March, girls!

Biggest pet peeves? Anything that people do pretty much annoys me. Sorry, if you're a human being who is reading this blog. 

Today I suddenly remembered about last year's school trip to Amsterdam so I went on Facebook to see if I can find that video of us singing. I couldn't find it, but a wild thought has crossed my mind. I have changed! I know what most of you are thinking: "You've changed? You don't saaaaay". But, really though... That thought is seriously terrifying. Here I am, sitting in my bed, thinking that I will still be the same person tomorrow that I was yesterday, but if we jump into the future we will find out that tomorrow-me and yesterday-me are too completely different people. While browsing Facebook and looking for that singing video, I stumbled upon pictures from this year's school trip to Berlin. Now this is even more terrifying. Say, it's normal and also obvious that I have changed since the trip to Amsterdam because it was over a year ago, but the Berlin trip was only in December. It seems like something has happened to me over the Christmas break that has transformed me completely because if you compare the person who I identified as myself before and after the winter holidays, you will see that they are totally different from one another. The big question is, what has changed me so much? The inner-me who has been inside my head since the day I was born is telling me that the person who I was before was better than the person who I am now. Could this be true or am I "overcomplicating" things again?

Dem childhood memoriz

Best childhood memory? Lemme think... Surprisingly, I can't think of a particular memory that really stands out. *stares at the wall for 20 mins* Ok. After some reflection I finally found something that I remember quite well.
When I was seven, eight and nine years old I would spend the three months of my summer holiday in Montenegro. My aunt and my cousins (Egor and Vasjok) would come to stay with us for about two weeks and, as you can probably guess, it was a whole lot of fun. We would go around the village by ourselves, not giving a damn, stuffing ourselves with ice cream and kinder surpsises. Our parents would send us to bring water from a water spring that was located quite close to our house. We called it the "Saint water source" since we would often find pilgrims, filling huge canisters with water from the spring. My cousins and I loved going there since it seemed like an adventure to us. We also found it fun because we would often see cows and sheep on the street, returning from the mountains after a hot summer day at the field. I remember that there were a lot of donkeys too. During the day they would be found by piles of trash at the lay-bys of the rocky roads of the village and at nighttime you would sometimes be woken up by the sound of donkeys screaming (it's terrifying, trust me). I used to own a huge box of cassettes when I was younger and every summer, it was the first thing that I packed in my suitcase. Vasjok and I loved listening to them and would reenact the scenes from, what you would now call, audiobooks that we listened to. I also had a lot of magazines with me. Most of them were from the previous summers and seemed old and ancient to us. One time, my dad gave me a lot of DVDs of horror movies. Egor and I (vasjok was too scared) would buy as much popcorn as we could and watch them in the dark. I remember Vasjok would get angry at us because we didn't want to play with her. I guess sunbathing shirtless and listening to rap on Egor's SonyEricsson was more entertaining to me and Egor. I forgot to mention that we also had quite a large collection of kinder surprise toys. We would trade them amongst the three of us and pretend to fight with one another. We also made catapults and weapons out of plasticine and were planning to have a major battle between our kinder surprise toys, but that never happened because summer was over, we left and never came back to that house again.

Diary of a 12-year-old

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about the diary I had when I was 10 years old. This week I am going to write about a blog I had when I was in 6th Grade. (It was on a Russian social website for children.) It was the best year of my life. The following things are translated from Russian to English and my translating skills are not so good :/

This was my first post:

So here we are… One more week until school starts. Homework, lessons and other things I don’t like. In 5^th grade they scared us so much by telling us about middle school so that some people even wanted to stay in primary for another year. But actually, I don’t care. Homework – I will do it, lessons – I will survive. No… Middle school is something… The twins from my school bus told us everything about it. They love it there. There are a lot of teachers, you have a lot more friends than you did in primary, first love. It sounds pretty cool. The thing that interests me the most is lockers. It’s like when you go inside a shop and you have to leave certain things in a locker. We’re also going to have those! I am going to have my own keys! I don’t know what middle school is about yet, but all 6^th graders are really cool! Maybe I will also be cool?

Awwww.... I was so excited to go to Middle School. That was such a long time ago. This post is about my first day in 6th Grade:

Mica is very pretty today!

Diary of a 9-year-old

As I might have already mentioned earlier, I had a diary when I was nine years old. I have had this diary up till when I was eleven. I started writing in it on the 31st of August 2008, the last day of the summer holidays. Surprisingly it was very formal. How do I explain this? Nowadays, I also keep different notebooks (kind of like diaries), but they are full of doodles and little notes I can't read because my handwriting is messy. My diary from 2008, on the other hand, is very neat and is written more like a formal letter. Another thing is that when I started writing the diary I had no idea of what diaries are like so there was nothing like "Dear Diary," at the beginning of each page. The way I started writing was also very... Hmmm... Strangely formal. I literally just wrote
Good evening! My name is Sonya and I am nine years old. Tomorrow is the first of September and I am going to Grade 4. 
It became less formal after a year or so, but, compared to my doodles now, the drawings in my old diary are very neat. Many things I wrote do not make sense due to poor grammar and punctuation skills. I did my best and tried to translate everything I wrote word to word. Sorry if something does not make sense to you because it does not make any sense to me either.
Let's take a look at it, shall we?

So this is how it looks like from the outside

This is something I wrote on the 1st of September 2008. It was my first day in 4th Grade. Before the lessons started we celebrated the start of a new school year with a dancing show and I was one of the performers. Another thing to keep in mind that I was going to leave to Switzerland in August and not come back to my old school, but, unfortunately, our visa was not ready yet so I had to go back. 

The celebrations were over. Everyone went to class. Those who danced stayed in the auditorium. And I went to see my classmates. I came up to class 4A where in the previous years I was the best student. Everyone lined up to go to music class. I looked at my class with happy eyes. They responded with bitter looks. Dasha S was the first one to speak, “Really, really wanted to leave, but didn’t?”

She said to me with her disgusting voice. And after the other Miss Intelligence decided to speak, “You’re staying! Oh no!!!”

The past, the present and the future

This is how I picture time

 

The dark silhouette is standing in front of a door that could also be a picture frame. The holes in the door each represent a different thing.
The top one represents the mind. The light coming out of the hole is shining at the box that represents the future. It means that our mind is thinking about the future. The gift is wrapped nicely, but a dark liquid is coming out of it. It symbolises that no one knows what the future will bring.
The hole bellow it symbolises the eyes. The light is shining at the forest that represents the present. It means that with our eyes we see the present. The strangely shaped trees of the forest represent how wonderful the present is. We often don't pay attention to that and run quickly through it. The past flows into the past and the future.
The bottom hole is the heart. It symbolises that the past (the teddy bear) is in our heart. The butterflies in the light represent that in our minds we make it look and sound better than it actually was. The chain at the bottom means that we can not live in the past again, but the footstep in front of it symbolises that we really want to.

Wha-wait-what!?

Vacation? Already? Seriously?
You have to be kidding me! What? Moscow on Monday? Wait-wait-wait...
Slow down...

Time is running quickly. Way too quickly. And I'm not the only one, who noticed that. Before, Summers used to be very long. My cousin, who is in second grade now, linked it to school. When she didn't go to school, summers were very long. For me, all summers were long except this one, so it's not only my cousin's impression. Starting from this year time began to rush like a race car. Before, you had to wait ages till the first school period ends and now you don't even blink and it's lunchtime! Something is wrong with this world. Don't you guys agree? How is it where you live?
And the seasons are all very late (or very early) this year. It snowed today! Today? On the 15th of December? And it wasn't even snow. It was stupid sleet!

Grrrrr!!!! I'm furious! What's up with this time rush?