This year I came to the point that I no longer care about exams....
On Saturday I went to the Vedanta centre and borrowed the Bhagavad Gita! It's such an amazing book. It seems like it's a book of all my thoughts and ideas put on paper neatly (does this sentence even make sense...?). Unfortunately I have to give it back this Saturday...
Instead of studying for my French exams I decided to take a walk. If you know me personally you probably know that I hate going for walks outside unless it's very important. It was raining, but I still went outside... Don't ask me why. I've been acting strange lately.
For the past couple of days I can't get the idea of being trapped out of my head. Remember when you were little you made houses out of shoe boxes? (Don't tell me you didn't!) This is how I see the world. You are trapped inside the little doll-house shoe box with cardboard cut-outs and glitter... And you can't get out of it. This is how I feel now.
It all reminds me of the first anime series I ever watched. I saw it in 6th grade and it is called Haibane Renmei. It's a story about a girl who lives in a town that is surrounded by walls. No one knows what is behind these walls and no one is allowed to leave the town or even go close to these walls. All the Haibane (the grey-winged) eventually leave the town at "the day of departure". Some think of it as death and others think of it as being let free.
When I was watching it I think I took the story too literally. Now I can say that I understand the meaning behind the story.
So now I have a question. Could death be considered as a release? The only way I could get out of the little shoe box world is by.... Dying...? No! That's not true at all... But how else can I leave this place..?
Maybe no one would mind if I leave this world. Could everything be just an illusion? It seems like all the people around me care so much, but it could just be.... That none of them really exist!
That's the first time I have ever considered dying an option. I will try to take my mind off this crazy idea.
On Saturday I went to the Vedanta centre and borrowed the Bhagavad Gita! It's such an amazing book. It seems like it's a book of all my thoughts and ideas put on paper neatly (does this sentence even make sense...?). Unfortunately I have to give it back this Saturday...
Instead of studying for my French exams I decided to take a walk. If you know me personally you probably know that I hate going for walks outside unless it's very important. It was raining, but I still went outside... Don't ask me why. I've been acting strange lately.
For the past couple of days I can't get the idea of being trapped out of my head. Remember when you were little you made houses out of shoe boxes? (Don't tell me you didn't!) This is how I see the world. You are trapped inside the little doll-house shoe box with cardboard cut-outs and glitter... And you can't get out of it. This is how I feel now.
It all reminds me of the first anime series I ever watched. I saw it in 6th grade and it is called Haibane Renmei. It's a story about a girl who lives in a town that is surrounded by walls. No one knows what is behind these walls and no one is allowed to leave the town or even go close to these walls. All the Haibane (the grey-winged) eventually leave the town at "the day of departure". Some think of it as death and others think of it as being let free.
When I was watching it I think I took the story too literally. Now I can say that I understand the meaning behind the story.
So now I have a question. Could death be considered as a release? The only way I could get out of the little shoe box world is by.... Dying...? No! That's not true at all... But how else can I leave this place..?
Maybe no one would mind if I leave this world. Could everything be just an illusion? It seems like all the people around me care so much, but it could just be.... That none of them really exist!
That's the first time I have ever considered dying an option. I will try to take my mind off this crazy idea.
I feel so sorry for you because you have French exams! All I have is Math, Spanish, and Social Studies, and they were not that hard. But now its summmmmmeeeeeeer! :-)
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