Do I really deserve this?

Sometimes I wonder, what have I done to deserve this? I'm not a bad person so why is this happening to me? I thought good things are supposed to happen to good people. Is this just a mistake? Or is it karma for everything I have done wrong in my past life?

I'm lost and I can't control my actions anymore.

My heart is beating twice the amount it should. I can barely say a word. I'm silent most of the time. I want to be alone. I hate it when others talk to me. There's pain in my chest. What is going on?

I want to be the person I've ever wanted to be. I want to bring others happiness, but I can't even make myself smile. 

Is this the end?

Should I give up?