I found it sort of amusing that I got to show my blog to everyone in PSHE class today. It's funny how people think that having 9000 views is a lot.
Today I was thinking about feelings again (insert Charlie-Rosa dodgy year 7 or whatever referrence). Do I even have feelings? I doubt that. I've realised that it all feels the same to me. It's a bit like artificial smell. You can't figure out what fruit, let's say, a cream smells like until you read the label. It all feels like something annoying that I want to get rid of. Let me try explaining it to you. You? Who am I talking to anyway?
Basically, I have this theory that all feelings physically feel the same and it's just our brain that tells us that at this particular moment it is love/happiness/jealousy/etc. I've tried doing this experiment (if I can even call it that) with myself to determine if it is actually true. The other day I was with my friends and I felt genuinely happy. I took that feeling and examined it as if it was put in a laboratory test tube. I realised that if the situation, or the context if you like, was different, I could have thought that the feeling I was experiencing was actually not happiness, but fear or despair. Another thing is that when I had this massive crush on a guy in our year, it felt as if I was experiencing severe pain so I tried avoiding that person for as much as possible. Whenever I feel love, whether it comes from my family or friends, it just feels like pain and hate and it annoys me! That sounds extremely weird now that I have put it down on "paper". Come to think of it, I think I know why I get very confused between the two feelings.
[insert French teacher's quote about "la crise d'adolescence"]
All that touchy-feely talk was kind of weird. I don't like PSHE.
Today was a great day as well. We had "deep-philosophical" conversations about religion.
David thinks I'm scary.
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