I should not have cut my hair so short. I can not even make it into a ponytail now and it is getting in my face. Maybe a few hair clips will help me. No. They make me look so childish. I should have bought hair pins yesterday. Actually, I think it will be better if I do not put my hair back because when I do, it makes my cheeks look fat and puffy. I wish I had my long hair back.
"You ready yet?" I hear a loud nosy voice shout. It is Ritsuka, my roommate. We met a few days ago, just before school started. In fact, I am glad that I got a chance to meet someone before school starts since I do not know anyone in this high school. Sometimes I worry that I will not find any friends this year. Will I be on my own for three whole years? Will I be one of these loners who eat lunch on their own and spend most of their time reading? Horrifying scenarios run through my mind as I am still adjusting my fringe in front of the mirror. I look into my own eyes and remind myself of the advantages of not having friends. I mean, I spent months studying to get into this high school and I have never imagined the fact that a simple girl like me would ever end up in Tokyo. I came here to study and not to cry over the fact that I do not have friends. I am fine by myself and I do not need anyone.
"Megumi! What on earth are you doing in there? It's been twenty minutes! We have to go!"
I clench my fists and force myself to unlock the bathroom door. I keep on telling myself that I will manage on my own and be strong even if people start hating on me. I hesitate before going outside. What if Ritsuka has decided to hate me all of a sudden? What if she has already told everyone to be mean to me?
Just before I can finish thinking, Ritsuka smashes the door open and grabs my wrist.
"We can't be late on the first day of school!" she exclaims, dragging me across the dorm corridor. "Not this time," she continues grumbling to herself.
Sometimes I wish that I was like Ritsuka. She seems like the type of person who gets along with everyone and can be loud and careless without worrying about other people's opinions. I think she will be surrounded by friends she just met on the first day of school. She will be laughing and talking in her loud voice while I will probably be standing in the corner all by myself.
Ristuka and I are outside, surrounded by a moving crowd of people. In the middle of the school yard where we are standing there is a bulletin board that everyone is crowded around. Everyone wants to know what class they are in this year. I can see three girls, probably second years, hugging each other and almost crying because they ended up in the same class this year. I wonder if I will find friends who I will get so attached to, but, for some reason, I find it very unlikely. I do not see myself being so happy over the fact that my friend and I are in the same class. Maybe I have just never experienced proper friendship before.
Wait, where did Ritsuka go?
I look around to realise that I am on my own. My only friend has left me and now I am standing in the middle of the crowd.
I walk up to the bulletin board and look for my name. Class 1-1? I wonder if any people in this class will become my lifelong friends. I notice that Ritsuka is in Class 1-2 and I also notice that there are only two home rooms in our year. In my old school there were six of them and different classes would never talk to one another. In addition, every class had different groups who would never mix with anyone else. I guess people in my old school were not that friendly after all.
"Take your seats."
I sit down on the seat closest to me and look around the classroom. There are only fifteen people in my class. I guess this school is indeed a very good one, just as they have told me when I was choosing the high school I wanted to go to. Come to think of it, it was a very long time ago. I remember how Miu-chan and I used to talk about high school and daydream about it every time we had a sleepover. Oh, Miu-chan, if only you knew how much I miss you
"For the third time, is there a Chigasaki Megumi?"
Oh crap!
I did not even hear that the teacher was doing the roll call. I stand up quickly, as if I have just been electrocuted.
"Introduce yourself, Chigasaki."
I hesitate. What am I supposed to say? Did I not hear the other classmates introduce themselves? I guess I was daydreaming about Miu again.
"I am sixteen years old and I come far away from here," I blab out. I can hear two boys whispering behind me. Could they be talking about my terrible country accent? These days in Tokyo made me regret the fact that I grew up in a small town. What if people start mocking me for this terrible accent of mine?
"Any hobbies?" teacher asks, smiling at me. Could that be a smile of pity or even mockery? She looks unusually friendly for a teacher.
"Ummm," I hesitate to answer.
"Takaki! Odajima!" the teacher suddenly exclaims. "Chigasaki-san is talking!"
"Sorry," the two boys behind me mumble in unison. They seem like great friends and I can somehow tell that they have known each other for ages.
"I enjoy tennis quite a lot," I continue, thinking about the long hours I have spent on the tennis court with Miu-chan during the summer.
"There is a tennis club. Are you thinking of joining it this year?" the teacher asks. This conversation seems strangely informal and relaxed, as if I am talking to a friend and not a high school teacher.
"I guess..." I reply quietly and sit down.
It is break time.
As I come outside I immediately see Ritsuka surrounded by a large group of people. As I have predicted earlier, she is laughing like there is no tomorrow, hugging her classmates and talking as loudly as she possibly can. Should I join the crowd? Would I be laughed at if I do?
Suddenly, I see a girl, who is clearly not from my home room, walking away from Ritsuka's crowd and joyfully running towards Takaki and Odajima. At first it seems like she is desperately trying to fit in since I could have never imagined that such a minuscule girl would be friends with two menacing-looking guys. Maybe this is a good way of making friends on your first day. Perhaps, I could also try being around someone who I would usually avoid. As I observe the strange trio more carefully, I realise that they seem rather like cousins or very close childhood friends. They are talking and laughing, but the way they laugh is so different from the way Ritsuka laughs with her new-made friends. I can probably guess that they are laughing at an inside joke or a funny memory they have shared together. Should I join them?
"Hello!" I smile at Odajima, Takaki and their friend.
What have I done? They were not expecting that. I just interrupted their conversation!
I immediately regret barging into their little circle. What will they think of me?
Ok, what do I do now? Should I introduce myself? Will the two boys start laughing at my accent again?
"Hi!" the girl breaks the awkward silence I have created. "What's your name?"
"Megumi," I say, "Chigasaki Megumi."
"Nice to meet you!" the girl smiles, closing her tiny eyes. "I'm Mitsuko. Misaki Mitsuko."
"Alliteration in M, I must say," chuckles Odajima.
"A very clever remark, indeed," adds Mitsuko, as if completing his sentence. The three start laughing while I am facing them and trying to look as if I am smiling even though I do not see anything funny in what has just been said.
"Don't mind us, Megumi-chan," Mistuko addresses me. "Tatsu, Reno and I have been friends ever since we were little," she says pointing at Odajima and Takaki.
The conversation continues flowing as if I was not even there, but I do not mind. I enjoy listening and looking at the people I am standing next to.
Mitsuko probably has the longest hair in the whole of high school. It almost touches her knees. I want to ask her if it is naturally red or if she has dyed it, but I do not want to interrupt the conversation. It must be a pain to curl such long hair every morning or is it naturally that curly? There are a lot of questions I want to ask Mitsu-chan, but I can not dare say a word.
Suddenly, a strange thought crosses my mind. I realise that even though I have just met these people, I feel like I got very attached to them. I suddenly want them to be a part of my life and share the most memorable moments with them. The next thing I realise is that I will, unfortunately, never become part of their little group and I will always remain as a silent observer of their conversation.
Days pass. Weeks and months are rushing by.
I spend every lunch and break time with Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reno. Sometimes I feel as if they have become my family because I have not seen my family since the start of the school year. It feels like they have become a part of my heart. When I am with them I even forget about Miu and the troubles I have been facing up until now. Sometimes I wonder if they think of me the same way. Have I become one of them yet? I do not think so. I am still the silent observer who never has anything to add to their flowing conversation. Would anything change if I just left? Would they even notice my absence? I try to stay away from them. Maybe it will be better if I join a group where I can just fit in and contribute to the conversation. Maybe I should join people who will let me laugh with them; those, whose friendship does not depend on the past. But I cannot, cannot spend the day without Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reto.
Maybe I care too much. Maybe I should stop complicating things. Maybe I should join Ritsuka and the others instead so that I can laugh at stupid jokes.
Have I ever experienced friendship before?
"Megu! Wait up!"
Mitsu-chan is running after me as we are heading to the bus stop to go to the cinema.
"Gotcha!" she taps my backpack for she has finally caught me. "So..." she mumbles, out of breath, "do you wanna go to my place after the movie?"
"Sure!" I exclaim. "I have no homework to do anyways."
"Lucky you!" Mitsu adds. "I have an essay to write that I haven't even started..."
We continue walking, smiling at the bright summer sun.
"There's the bus!" Mitsu points in the distance. "We better run!"
"Let's get the next one instead," I suggest, but it is too late since Mitsu is already running towards the bus stop. I have no choice, but to hurry after her. She is such a fast runner.
I can hear pieces of metal shrieking as they are gliding one past each other. Shattered glass is breaking into a million tiny pieces, hitting the floor and breaking into a million more.
Mitsu-chan and I would often cross this bridge on our way to town. We loved watching the water flow below it. The colour of the water would change every day; sometimes it would be turquoise and sometimes it would be dark blue.
Miu-chan, do you remember the day we met? We were only ten. What about that time we prank called out headmaster in year 5? Remember? Or when we got told off for sticking gum on the board? Such memories will never be forgotten, or will they? Goodbye, Miu-chan! I loved you.
If you have ever visited the Senbonzakura Highschool you have probably heard of Megumi, Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reto. There they are, can you see? That girl with beautiful red hair is Mitsuko. Can you see the way she is laughing with these three? It almost makes me want to laugh too. And next to her is Megumi. You could say that she has the most contagious laugh in the whole school. Always so happy and careless. It seems like they are cracking up over one of their mysterious inside jokes again. I never really understood those, to be honest. Their friendship is one in a million I must say. Everyone should be blessed to find friends like them.
"You ready yet?" I hear a loud nosy voice shout. It is Ritsuka, my roommate. We met a few days ago, just before school started. In fact, I am glad that I got a chance to meet someone before school starts since I do not know anyone in this high school. Sometimes I worry that I will not find any friends this year. Will I be on my own for three whole years? Will I be one of these loners who eat lunch on their own and spend most of their time reading? Horrifying scenarios run through my mind as I am still adjusting my fringe in front of the mirror. I look into my own eyes and remind myself of the advantages of not having friends. I mean, I spent months studying to get into this high school and I have never imagined the fact that a simple girl like me would ever end up in Tokyo. I came here to study and not to cry over the fact that I do not have friends. I am fine by myself and I do not need anyone.
"Megumi! What on earth are you doing in there? It's been twenty minutes! We have to go!"
I clench my fists and force myself to unlock the bathroom door. I keep on telling myself that I will manage on my own and be strong even if people start hating on me. I hesitate before going outside. What if Ritsuka has decided to hate me all of a sudden? What if she has already told everyone to be mean to me?
Just before I can finish thinking, Ritsuka smashes the door open and grabs my wrist.
"We can't be late on the first day of school!" she exclaims, dragging me across the dorm corridor. "Not this time," she continues grumbling to herself.
Sometimes I wish that I was like Ritsuka. She seems like the type of person who gets along with everyone and can be loud and careless without worrying about other people's opinions. I think she will be surrounded by friends she just met on the first day of school. She will be laughing and talking in her loud voice while I will probably be standing in the corner all by myself.
Ristuka and I are outside, surrounded by a moving crowd of people. In the middle of the school yard where we are standing there is a bulletin board that everyone is crowded around. Everyone wants to know what class they are in this year. I can see three girls, probably second years, hugging each other and almost crying because they ended up in the same class this year. I wonder if I will find friends who I will get so attached to, but, for some reason, I find it very unlikely. I do not see myself being so happy over the fact that my friend and I are in the same class. Maybe I have just never experienced proper friendship before.
Wait, where did Ritsuka go?
I look around to realise that I am on my own. My only friend has left me and now I am standing in the middle of the crowd.
I walk up to the bulletin board and look for my name. Class 1-1? I wonder if any people in this class will become my lifelong friends. I notice that Ritsuka is in Class 1-2 and I also notice that there are only two home rooms in our year. In my old school there were six of them and different classes would never talk to one another. In addition, every class had different groups who would never mix with anyone else. I guess people in my old school were not that friendly after all.
"Take your seats."
I sit down on the seat closest to me and look around the classroom. There are only fifteen people in my class. I guess this school is indeed a very good one, just as they have told me when I was choosing the high school I wanted to go to. Come to think of it, it was a very long time ago. I remember how Miu-chan and I used to talk about high school and daydream about it every time we had a sleepover. Oh, Miu-chan, if only you knew how much I miss you
"For the third time, is there a Chigasaki Megumi?"
Oh crap!
I did not even hear that the teacher was doing the roll call. I stand up quickly, as if I have just been electrocuted.
"Introduce yourself, Chigasaki."
I hesitate. What am I supposed to say? Did I not hear the other classmates introduce themselves? I guess I was daydreaming about Miu again.
"I am sixteen years old and I come far away from here," I blab out. I can hear two boys whispering behind me. Could they be talking about my terrible country accent? These days in Tokyo made me regret the fact that I grew up in a small town. What if people start mocking me for this terrible accent of mine?
"Any hobbies?" teacher asks, smiling at me. Could that be a smile of pity or even mockery? She looks unusually friendly for a teacher.
"Ummm," I hesitate to answer.
"Takaki! Odajima!" the teacher suddenly exclaims. "Chigasaki-san is talking!"
"Sorry," the two boys behind me mumble in unison. They seem like great friends and I can somehow tell that they have known each other for ages.
"I enjoy tennis quite a lot," I continue, thinking about the long hours I have spent on the tennis court with Miu-chan during the summer.
"There is a tennis club. Are you thinking of joining it this year?" the teacher asks. This conversation seems strangely informal and relaxed, as if I am talking to a friend and not a high school teacher.
"I guess..." I reply quietly and sit down.
It is break time.
As I come outside I immediately see Ritsuka surrounded by a large group of people. As I have predicted earlier, she is laughing like there is no tomorrow, hugging her classmates and talking as loudly as she possibly can. Should I join the crowd? Would I be laughed at if I do?
Suddenly, I see a girl, who is clearly not from my home room, walking away from Ritsuka's crowd and joyfully running towards Takaki and Odajima. At first it seems like she is desperately trying to fit in since I could have never imagined that such a minuscule girl would be friends with two menacing-looking guys. Maybe this is a good way of making friends on your first day. Perhaps, I could also try being around someone who I would usually avoid. As I observe the strange trio more carefully, I realise that they seem rather like cousins or very close childhood friends. They are talking and laughing, but the way they laugh is so different from the way Ritsuka laughs with her new-made friends. I can probably guess that they are laughing at an inside joke or a funny memory they have shared together. Should I join them?
"Hello!" I smile at Odajima, Takaki and their friend.
What have I done? They were not expecting that. I just interrupted their conversation!
I immediately regret barging into their little circle. What will they think of me?
Ok, what do I do now? Should I introduce myself? Will the two boys start laughing at my accent again?
"Hi!" the girl breaks the awkward silence I have created. "What's your name?"
"Megumi," I say, "Chigasaki Megumi."
"Nice to meet you!" the girl smiles, closing her tiny eyes. "I'm Mitsuko. Misaki Mitsuko."
"Alliteration in M, I must say," chuckles Odajima.
"A very clever remark, indeed," adds Mitsuko, as if completing his sentence. The three start laughing while I am facing them and trying to look as if I am smiling even though I do not see anything funny in what has just been said.
"Don't mind us, Megumi-chan," Mistuko addresses me. "Tatsu, Reno and I have been friends ever since we were little," she says pointing at Odajima and Takaki.
The conversation continues flowing as if I was not even there, but I do not mind. I enjoy listening and looking at the people I am standing next to.
Mitsuko probably has the longest hair in the whole of high school. It almost touches her knees. I want to ask her if it is naturally red or if she has dyed it, but I do not want to interrupt the conversation. It must be a pain to curl such long hair every morning or is it naturally that curly? There are a lot of questions I want to ask Mitsu-chan, but I can not dare say a word.
Suddenly, a strange thought crosses my mind. I realise that even though I have just met these people, I feel like I got very attached to them. I suddenly want them to be a part of my life and share the most memorable moments with them. The next thing I realise is that I will, unfortunately, never become part of their little group and I will always remain as a silent observer of their conversation.
Days pass. Weeks and months are rushing by.
I spend every lunch and break time with Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reno. Sometimes I feel as if they have become my family because I have not seen my family since the start of the school year. It feels like they have become a part of my heart. When I am with them I even forget about Miu and the troubles I have been facing up until now. Sometimes I wonder if they think of me the same way. Have I become one of them yet? I do not think so. I am still the silent observer who never has anything to add to their flowing conversation. Would anything change if I just left? Would they even notice my absence? I try to stay away from them. Maybe it will be better if I join a group where I can just fit in and contribute to the conversation. Maybe I should join people who will let me laugh with them; those, whose friendship does not depend on the past. But I cannot, cannot spend the day without Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reto.
Maybe I care too much. Maybe I should stop complicating things. Maybe I should join Ritsuka and the others instead so that I can laugh at stupid jokes.
Have I ever experienced friendship before?
"Megu! Wait up!"
Mitsu-chan is running after me as we are heading to the bus stop to go to the cinema.
"Gotcha!" she taps my backpack for she has finally caught me. "So..." she mumbles, out of breath, "do you wanna go to my place after the movie?"
"Sure!" I exclaim. "I have no homework to do anyways."
"Lucky you!" Mitsu adds. "I have an essay to write that I haven't even started..."
We continue walking, smiling at the bright summer sun.
"There's the bus!" Mitsu points in the distance. "We better run!"
"Let's get the next one instead," I suggest, but it is too late since Mitsu is already running towards the bus stop. I have no choice, but to hurry after her. She is such a fast runner.
I can hear pieces of metal shrieking as they are gliding one past each other. Shattered glass is breaking into a million tiny pieces, hitting the floor and breaking into a million more.
Mitsu-chan and I would often cross this bridge on our way to town. We loved watching the water flow below it. The colour of the water would change every day; sometimes it would be turquoise and sometimes it would be dark blue.
Miu-chan, do you remember the day we met? We were only ten. What about that time we prank called out headmaster in year 5? Remember? Or when we got told off for sticking gum on the board? Such memories will never be forgotten, or will they? Goodbye, Miu-chan! I loved you.
If you have ever visited the Senbonzakura Highschool you have probably heard of Megumi, Mitsuko, Tatsu and Reto. There they are, can you see? That girl with beautiful red hair is Mitsuko. Can you see the way she is laughing with these three? It almost makes me want to laugh too. And next to her is Megumi. You could say that she has the most contagious laugh in the whole school. Always so happy and careless. It seems like they are cracking up over one of their mysterious inside jokes again. I never really understood those, to be honest. Their friendship is one in a million I must say. Everyone should be blessed to find friends like them.
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