I need people!

Sometimes I think that I'm becoming an extrovert. Kind of. I sometimes have this urge to be around people and talk and laugh and be social. I guess it's an age thing and not really the process of becoming extroverted. I think I still "gain energy" from being alone, like an introvert, but being around people has suddenly become more appealing than ever before. (Did that sentence make sense?)

The thing I fear the most is that this year is a lot like 7th grade. I have this urge to talk to people, but I have no one to talk to. I do have a few good friends who are always there for me, but I'm lonely. 

I'm lost.

I don't want to spend lunches alone in the library, read fat philosophy books and make notes about the mysterious human nature like I did in 7th grade. I don't want to create any sort of fantasy world and ignore reality and the people around me, overwhelmed with strange deep thoughts that I can not share with anyone. I want to meet new people, learn from them and, simply, have a different exciting life outside school.

Is anyone as desperate as me to hang out with people and just... talk?

I guess there are some people at my school who I'm interested in, but I can't approach them due to various things. Or maybe that's what I think and nothing really serious has happened between us.

After all, I'm being selfish. And weak. I can continue on my own.